Looking back

Sometimes I look at Ethan and I just can't believe he's here. I know he's 16 months old but I just can't believe he's here and he's mine. I have been thinking about the times when he was this chubby little peanut with a double chin and super chubby legs. I so love the stage that he's is in right now but I love to go back and think about those lovely moments we had.  Perhaps right now it's because I've been organizing all of our pictures or maybe I'm just super emotional at the moment .

I just feel really happy in life right now. I am extremely blessed to be able to stay home with my little man. I understand that this is not possible for a lot of people and I'm just so thankful. I give a lot of credit to those who work and have little ones. I did it full time for almost 4 months and part time for five months. It was very hard and it broke my heart to leave this little guy in someone else's  arms five days a week for over eight hours. I truly feel like I missed a big part of his life. It's an empty feeling you are left with when you leave a three month old to go to work. You go from snuggling in bed and breast feeding to just rushing around all the time. I hope I never have to go through that again.

I'm going to enjoy every moment I have with this little nugget. Even when times are tough and he's cranky or throwing a tantrum. I will remember that those tough times will pass and he will soon look at me with those big gorgeous eyes and smile.